Quarter Life Crisis

So I’ve been away from the blogging world for a bit and I blame it on the winter blues completely but really life has gotten the better half of me lately but I’m so more starting to wonder if I’m going through a quarter life crisis. Pathetic, right? I seem to not know what I want out of life nowadays and reminiscing on where I thought I would be by now. I’m sure this is a normal thing to experience my age but none the less still miserable and did I say pathetic already?!

“And the only one winning is the Pinot Grigio”

It all started around the holidays when the realization that I would be spending the holidays with my parents rather than a significant other hit me. Luckily I was able to Tinder some hottie while on vacation and be irresponsible none the less. I must’ve made some impression because he stills calls (bugs) me. Ehhh what do I care at least I can be flattered that he still thinks of me. In other news I quit my job well sorta I slashed my hours to basically nothing and focusing on my family aka quarter life crisis! Yeah, my work is awesome although after all this time off I don’t think it even matters I’ve decided to explore other entrepreneurial options or whatever bullshit you want to call it basically I want to be a hippy and live off Gods green earth and sing Kumbayah…. if you haven’t caught on to my humor yet that would be a joke but really I’m in this awkward stage of “Do I go left or right?” and meanwhile I’m sitting with my bottle of wine deciphering what path to take and the only one winning is the Pinot Grigio!

“I had been officially ghosted.”

Well Valentines Day is two bloody days away and I’m literally with the decision to make whether I want to babysit or hang out with my casual boyfriend and ridicule myself over the fact that we aren’t exclusive and probably never will be! I suppose I owe some sort of clarity to mystery man. I met mystery man on the most trust worthy dating site known to man… Tinder! He was witty and made an impression not like most and it intrigued me and drew me in. He asked me out for dinner and it went surprisingly well and we hit it off almost immediately as dinner ended we were not even close to calling it a night we headed across the street to a nearby bar that was playing live music. We proceeded to talk over drinks and get closer to each other so we could hear each other over the band playing “Send Me On My Way” as we lipped the lyrics to one another. Maybe it was the drinks but we were radiating closer to each other throughout the night and we got close enough to almost kiss but not quite. As we both decided it was time to leave we left the back of the bar and almost immediately grabbed one another to kiss. Well the kissing soon led us back to his place and “WOW” does not even describe how amazing our night was and HELL YES it was the most amazing sex I’ve ever had it was wild but so intimate at the same time. As the next couple of days went on we began to see each other more and days turned into weeks and we began seeing each other less but still talking daily. I was convinced we were in the midst of blossoming into a relationship  I had begun to develop real feelings for this man and then BAM he was gone! I’d had been officially ghosted. If you have never heard the term ghosted before please educate yourself on this new dating phenomenon.

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This is the ultimate bitch move you can make as a human, just saying! Whether this is the easy way out of saying I’m not interested but I’m to much of a coward let me rephrase that to much of a pussy to tell you I’m no longer interested in seeing you anymore or you mysteriously dropped your phone in the ocean while deep sea fishing and lost all your contacts, true story! Whatever the excuse is it’s a shitty way to go about it. So I moved on with my life and went on my holiday vacation where I met Tinder vacation hottie and indulged and spent the following weeks deciphering my life when BOOM I get a text from low and behold mystery man. In his text he apologized to me and didn’t expect me to respond but none the less he wrote out a lengthy apology. I suppose my curiosity got the best out of me and I responded and wanted the details as to the question all of us ghostees’ ask ourselves “WHY?”! He began making excuses as to how stressed with work he was and life and just shut down essentially but now he’s turned a new leaf and is much happier or hornier as I would like to say! Of course I knew it was a bad idea to even entertain the idea of speaking to him again but I seem to like making irresponsible decisions these days so I suppose I can always fall back and blame it on my quarter life crisis dilemma. Well so we began talking again which led to sleeping with each other again and we started having petty little fights like a real couple and then we would make up and have sex and all is fair in love and war right?

So here I lay here and wonder where did I steer wrong and why the hell did I end up in the desert without any fucking compass as to where I should go and as I walk I start to see this mirage to this image I have for myself this happiness that seems so close but yet so far away and I starve for it but then the mirage is over and I’m back in my car with sex hair and bad breath and I head home!

Well so here it is 2 days before Valentines Day so I suppose life is really like a box of chocolate as good ole Gump would say you never know what you’re gonna get!

Happy Valentines Day to my single bitches!

XOXO Saint Vix

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